Dry cum

On Monday evening I received my instructions from Altariel for Tuesday – from 7:30am to midnight I was to cum 6 times but not allowed to use any lube. For me, cumming 6 times in a day would be very tough (recall doing 5 before) but I basically always use lube so not sure if even a single cum would be possible without it.

So this order was very challenging, reasonably confident it’s not even remotely possible, but (perhaps because of that) I felt such a strong urge to comply with it and do my very best. In other situations I’d just say “can’t be done” but as a submissive under orders I just feel a compulsion to obey. I don’t know what they’re doing to my head, it’s so weird but so hot!

I sent a text confirming if any sort of lubrication (such as water) was allowed. Altariel replied saying ‘no’ and added: "If you want the pleasure of wanking you must accept the pain of friction".

That got me so hard! It’s so cruel, but a beautiful cruel. That right there is my punishment for enjoying playing with my cock, and it’s a ruthless summary of my situation – earning pleasure by taking pain.

I worked out the complexity of emotion I was feeling could quite possibly be the first time in history anyone’s had this set of feelings in these measures all at the same time. These included:

• Concern that I will fail the order
• Worry of what the experience will be like – I’ll try not to let myself get sore but that’s a possibility
• Pleasure that Altariel is challenging me
• High pleasure that I’m feeling so compelled to follow her orders and do my best to succeed

Earlier on I felt an emotion which I described as, “Upset but very happy that I was upset” – I have no freaking idea where that comes from! It is all very positive though. Curiously I don't even resent being given an impossible task, or being punished for failing the impossible. My duty is to do what I’m told, independent of feasibility, and I may let them down.

UPDATE I didn't mention but on Sunday I told Lord Saxon that I generally need lube to get anywhere near cumming, so I have no doubt that's inspired Altariel to order me not to use it!