More ruining

Between Wednesday morning and the club on Friday evening I cum 6 times, but all of them were ruined orgasms - I let go of my cock before I shot my load. It significantly reduces the pleasurable feelings from cumming, which is on the one hand quite annoying but on the other feels like a good submissive thing to do.

One interesting side-effect is that I was effectively edging - trying to work out when I was going to cum so I knew when to let go, so sometimes I would get right to the edge of orgasm but I'd let go a second too soon so didn't shoot. Which is a whole other sort of play, continuous edging without cumming.

One time, I cum but ruined it by letting go, so my cock pulsed and some cum came out, but once it was finished it didn't really feel like it had finished. I carried on stroking and about 10 seconds later the same happened again (which I ruined the same way). After the second, it did feel different and my cock went down quickly. Not sure I've had a 'partial cum' like that before.

Ruined!

I've been playing with 'ruined' orgasms.

This is when you wank to the point of cumming, but just as you're about to shoot you let go of the cock and let it pulse and spurt. No contact means you don't feel any of the usual orgasmic sensations.

My last 3 orgasms have been done that way.

It's fairly annoying having the build up but not the same 'release' sensation as I'm used to.

There's quite a submissive interest in changing how my orgasm feels, so I sometimes give myself a 'good' one and sometimes a 'bad' one. In a similar way to sometimes being in chastity and sometimes edging but not cumming.

I could for instance spend time where I have to alternate between ruined and full orgasms.

I'll play around with them some more (I've decided my next cum will be ruined too).

A looooong vest

Over the sunny weekend I've been up to my usual minimal clothing. I went shopping in a vest top and fairly short high cut shorts. I was in London in similar and someone walking past me said "Nice legs mate" - probably sarcastically but he'd walked past before I could tell.

I recently got a new vest top from ebay - a purple one of these in a size 2XL http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/290920544238

It's huge! I like the bagginess of large stuff so been experimenting with over-sizing. The top half of it is quite nice and 'comfort fit' but the interesting thing is that it's so long it covers any shorts I'm wearing.

I needed to go to a local shop, so I slipped on some tight lycra shorts (boxer short length not like cycle shorts) and the top and went out. I'm sure no-one could see the shorts, so of course I could have been wearing a little thong or even nothing... it's an interesting prospect :)

Zentai in the dark

On Thursday, after being locked in a cb for about 28 hours, I ventured out to retrieve the key from a combination keysafe in the garden.

But before doing so I slipped on a black zentai (full body lycra suit) with no eye or mouth holes in the hood, and black sandals, then padlocked the suit's zips. I turned off all the house lights facing the garden so I would be unseen as a shadow moving through the dark.

I ventured out with a torch but used it only momentarily to see my way. I found it was quite tricky seeing the combination dials on the keysafe while hooded. After a while I got it and retrieved the key.

Then I came in, unlocked the suit and the cb, and you can imagine the rest :)

Locked overnight

Yesterday evening for a change I thought I'd lock on my small steelheart with spiked cockring, and I put the keys into a lock box in my garden, planning to be locked 6pm to midnight so I'd have to go out in the dark to retrieve key.

I got chatting to a friend who talked me into retrieving the key but only to switch the spiked ring for a normal ring so I could sleep locked (not original plan). I did so, and decided if I was going to sleep in it I might as well keep it on for the next day.

I had a fairly bad night, woke several times including at 6am in some discomfort which lasted about 15 mins.

I've been wearing it to work all day today which has not caused any problems except that the modified ring needs regular lubing or it starts to ache (I added some plastic to prevent ball slip-out).

Not going to spend another night locked but I will at least wait until dark before retrieving key, possibly wearing either something minimal (shorts or less) or something maximal (black zentai, would be invisible at night).

Post-BiCon

I had quite a nice time at BiCon (the bisexual convention) - not profoundly amazing, just nice. I've been going 18 years now so know what to expect and most years are similar to others.

It's an opportunity to dress up in odd stuff in an environment where no-one seems to mind. I wore:

• On the train going there and for the Thursday evening, short shorts and little vest top with cb under
• Friday daytime, short shorts and vest top
• Friday evening, pink rubber neck-entry shortie suit with yellow rubber jock
• Saturday daytime, lycra cycle skinsuit
• Saturday evening, purple camoflague zentai
• Sunday and for the train home, rubber shorts under mesh shorts and nylon vest top with locking cockring under

The workshops during the day were on the usual sorts of topics - neurodiversity, transsexuality, asexuality, oral history, the internet, sexworkers, making toys, but the one of note was on rope bondage as I got tied up, spend a while on the floor in a comfortable hog-tie. That was while I was in well lubed up rubber shorts so was able to rub myself against the floor while tied up - nice sensation!

Then I went out a few times on Monday (day off work), once in thong leotard with short shorts (without lining) and sleeveless tee - interesting feeling the tightness of the leo all the time. I met a friend while out, though she didn't comment on my sparse clothing.

Build-up to BiCon

This weekend is BiCon, the UK national annual bisexual conference, which this year is in Edinburgh (it travels around the country) from Thursday to Sunday of the coming week.

I go to it ever year, this is the 31st event and I've been to the last 18 of them. It's a fun social event - see http://www.bicon2013.org.uk

I use it as an 'excuse' to dress up in a friendly atmosphere - have worn cycle suit, pvc etc during the daytimes, then in the evening rubber or zentai.

It's a 6 hour train journey each way, so my plan is on the way there I'm going to wear tight little shorts and loose baggy vest top, and under them my small steelheart chastity device. I'll keep that on all Thursday and all Sunday for the return journey (and perhaps other times).

And to get 'in the mood' I'll not cum on the Wednesday, but may edge myself.