Under control

Today I had been wearing a cockring as instructed by my underwear selection webpage, but I had foolishly not asked Altariel's permission to put it on so she decided as punishment I should write her a message explaining what the week so far under her control had been like. This is the message I wrote to her:

You asked me to tell you what this is like for me. This week so far has been quite tough but very rewarding. I hadn’t anticipated the degree to which I would want to obey your instruction as best I could (not always very well).

I’m normally quite a sexual person but I’ve never felt as sexually charged all the time as I have under your control. The cock attached to my body is regularly throbbing for attention even at the most inconvenient times, but I know that I don’t have permission to touch it and I will honour that even though it takes a lot of willpower. I realise it’s not even about orgasm. I feel a sexual thrill by your instruction whether I’ve cum recently or a while ago.

In work this afternoon I couldn’t get my mind off the thought of you biting me, which got me regularly aroused and distracted.

All your tasks have challenged aspects of me. Every one of them has got me hard and horny which has made the periods of ‘no touch’ all the more difficult. Going out to the public toilet last night in cycle shorts was quite scary, I’d never been told to do that before and had always avoided interacting with people, so going into a shop took some nerve.

Waking up in the mornings is the worst part, because then your cock is always ready for attention and is used to getting it. It’s at that time that I feel most submissive, resisting my base instincts because I know it would disappoint you if I caved in. Then I think of you and that my frustration is your desire and my place is to give you pleasure.

I’ve developed a Pavlovian reaction now, each time I hear my phone buzz with a new message I get a little hard in the anticipation of a text from you. I know it could be granting me a treat or imposing some new restriction or torture, but I get aroused by either.

In short, this week so far has been tough and been challenging to my willpower and obedience and kept me more frustrated than I’ve been in a long time, but I wouldn’t change any of it, Mistress.

She also send me text messages while I was at a talk in the evening, asking to tell her how frustrated I had been. I had to reply explaining my horny situation while surrounded by people listening to the talk.

My ball weight task

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

My clothes peg task

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

My public toilet task

I woke up this morning hard and horny but knowing I was not allowed to touch it (my play partner Altariel decided I should not), which made it harder and got more frustrating. But giving in to the frustration and the joy of submission is hot in itself.

In the afternoon Altariel instructed me to put on my Carrara chastity belt, then in the evening send me this task: "I want you to take off your chastity belt and put in your largest butt plug. Then wear bicycle shorts to your local shop and get change for a public toilet. Then cum in the toilet."

I wore my 'rattler' steel buttplug which has a ball inside which knocks as you walk. I've not worn it for long before but thought this would be a good opportunity. It's quite big and I felt it the whole time, although the knocking wasn't very noticable.

I was very self-concious (which I find a turn-on) as I stepped out of the door in cycle shorts and a waist-length teeshirt. I bought a kit-kat in a shop (I took other change with me but thought the awkwardness of going into a shop wearing this was a good part of the scene). I had money in a bag pushed down my shorts which I had to retrieve, then put the kitkat down there too.

The toilets take 20p, it was very wet inside as it auto-cleans itself. I thought it would be apporpriate to strip down as much as possible so I removed shorts and teeshirt but kept sandals on. I took some lube so was soon sitting on the toilet feeling the plug and thinking about being out naked with few clothes available, about to cum in public, being controlled by someone who was going to make me do lots of these things for the chance to cum. The situation and past frustration and being locked all afternoon all worked together to make me blow my load in a few minutes - I had a large handful of sticky white stuff. Sometimes it takes me ages to cum, but others, particuarly when against the clock, can be quite quick. I washed up in the auto-sink there, and also used it to blow-dry my cock.

I put my clothes on (could well be some damp stains on shorts) and left. On the way back (plug still in) I felt a definite sense of being more relaxed, which was perhaps due to a task completed but may well have been release of sexual frustration.

A very creative and hot scene!

Clubbing and beyond

Last Friday I went to the monthly fetish club I go to, but this time with a play partner called Altariel.

She put me into several of the pieces of equipment in the club. One was a pillory - a horizontal bar trapping my head and hands, and posts to trap my feet, spreading my legs wide apart - very vulnerable position. While there she challenged me to stay exactly still for the time she specified, and (very lightly) spanked my ass with a paddle if I moved.

Another time she put me into a cage which another woman lay on top of. Altariel then proceeded to flog her while I watched, trapped underneath her.

At other times Altariel scratched and bit me. I didn't think I was into that, and I don't like pain things like that, but for some strange reason I really don't understand, I found it a real turn-on to be scratched and bitten by her. I found myself asking for more, even though a week earlier I'd have told you I'd definitely be asking for less. I guess it shows that you shouldn't think you're not into something. But then, I've been scratched and bitten before and not liked it - think it's all about context.

I was in my steelheart cock cage during the club for which she kindly looked after then keys and told me when I could unlock it the next day (which was inside my dog cage) but after I had cum we agreed that for the rest of the week I would be given task to earn the right to cum, and that I was not to touch my cock without permission from her.

I have no idea what to expect but think it's going to be hot finding out!

Plugged again

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Pride and stuff

I was at Reading Pride yesterday, which is a great opportunity to wear 'odd' stuff.

So I wore a long vest top. I had a tight pink little pair of shorts under (actually short girls cycle shorts with padding) but the top was long enough to just about hide the shorts. Got a few interesting comments from friends :)

I spoke to some strangers there, only because they had the same style of unusual backpack as I had. As I walked away from them I overheard one saying "What a nice man!" :)

Then today I went out (dropping bottles off at glass recycling) wearing bib cycle shorts and vest top, and under that a C String (see http://www.cstringthong.com/) and under that my small steelheart and steel buttplug. I recorded a video of removing the clothes when I got home, but kept the cb and plug on/in a few hours more.