Today I had been wearing a cockring as instructed by my underwear
selection webpage, but I had foolishly not asked Altariel's permission to put it on so
she decided as punishment I should write her a message explaining what the week so far under her control had
been like. This is the message I wrote to her:
You asked me to tell you what this is like for me. This week
so far has been quite tough but very rewarding. I hadn’t anticipated the degree
to which I would want to obey your instruction as best I could (not always very
well).
I’m normally quite a sexual person but I’ve never felt as
sexually charged all the time as I have under your control. The cock attached
to my body is regularly throbbing for attention even at the most inconvenient
times, but I know that I don’t have permission to touch it and I will honour
that even though it takes a lot of willpower. I realise it’s not even about
orgasm. I feel a sexual thrill by your instruction whether I’ve cum recently or
a while ago.
In work this afternoon I couldn’t get my mind off the
thought of you biting me, which got me regularly aroused and distracted.
All your tasks have challenged aspects of me. Every one of
them has got me hard and horny which has made the periods of ‘no touch’ all the
more difficult. Going out to the public toilet last night in cycle shorts was
quite scary, I’d never been told to do that before and had always avoided
interacting with people, so going into a shop took some nerve.
Waking up in the mornings is the worst part, because then
your cock is always ready for attention and is used to getting it. It’s at that
time that I feel most submissive, resisting my base instincts because I know it
would disappoint you if I caved in. Then I think of you and that my frustration
is your desire and my place is to give you pleasure.
I’ve developed a Pavlovian reaction now, each time I hear my
phone buzz with a new message I get a little hard in the anticipation of a text
from you. I know it could be granting me a treat or imposing some new
restriction or torture, but I get aroused by either.
In short, this week so far has been tough and been challenging
to my willpower and obedience and kept me more frustrated than I’ve been in a
long time, but I wouldn’t change any of it, Mistress.
She also send me text messages while I was at a talk in the evening, asking to tell her how frustrated I had been. I had to reply explaining my horny situation while surrounded by people listening to the talk.
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