I spent the weekend locked up and horny. I had to wear my
steelheart chastity device to work on Friday then out drinking in the evening
and to a cinema social on Saturday and through Sunday. I’ve worn it out to
events before, but being locked so long at one stretch made it feel more like a
standard part of me, which is a nice state to achieve.
I was instructed that on Sunday morning I should unlock cb
to shower. It was initially disappointing not to have a ‘continuous lockup’ but
on reflection it makes a lot of sense from a practical point of view. I was
wearing a very enclosed device and I can try to clean it through in shower but
there’s no alternative to a real unlocked cleaning of device and contents. I
managed to achieve not even getting hard while showering, but about 2 minutes
after I locked up again and thought about what was happening to me, I was
filling the tube again.
I was due to meet Lord Saxon for a
meal then play on Sunday. I received a message from Altariel with some
instructions for me – for the first 15 minutes when he’s in my house, I’m not
to make eye contact with him at all, just stare down at my feet. Then for the
next 20 minutes I’m not to speak. If asked I can say (or use phone to type) it’s
instruction from Altariel. He didn’t actually notice that I wasn’t making eye
contact with him (which felt like a strange thing to do) and took him 10
minutes to notice I wasn’t speaking (he says he thought I was being subby).
There’s something quite nice about not being allowed to speak, feels very submissive,
especially as ordered from someone hundreds of miles away. When I informed him
(by phone text) that I was obeying Altariel’s orders he swore and sent her a
blunt message, but all in good humour.
Over several hours he got me into
some hot rope ties, at which he is quite an expert. One was a hogtie, he was
planning on putting a rope gag in my mouth and tying it back to either my feet
or my hands, but unfortunately I don’t have quite the flexibility to curve my
back and neck to make it happen. Feel like that would have been a hot
arrangement – having to either tense my legs to take strain off my mouth or the
other way around, no comfortable position.
Another hot scene was when I
suggested using a straitjacket (which I love being put into). Mine has a lot of
‘spare’ D-rings for attachments, so thought it would blend well with rope play.
He had me strapped up and blindfolded sitting on sofa (I was already drifting
off into subspace) then roped up my thighs and ankles and tied them together
and to a D-ring on my chest, leaving me very snug and secure.
He probably thought I looked too
comfortable, because then then put a rope around my balls (available hanging
out of the bottom of my chastity device) and tied them to my ankles. This was
not tight unless I lifted up my legs – then I felt the sharp tug on my balls. That
started quite pleasant but I found by pulling harder it turned to getting more
painful, which I found an incredible turn-on (didn’t really expect that). My
masochism kicked in and I kept tugging hard at my balls, all the time getting more
painful and making me harder in my device. If I hadn’t been locked I think I
would have cum with a light touch – so frustrating! Lord Saxon ordered me to
continue torturing myself which spurned me on to tug my balls even harder and give
myself more pain and frustration.
Quite interesting (something I’d
not considered) that I was in control of my own pain experience in that
situation. He doesn’t know me well (I don’t know me well either) so he wouldn’t
have known how far to push me. In this way I could challenge and torture
myself, and push my own limits with encouragement from his orders, but there
would be no risk that he’d mis-read me and go too far, or been too soft on me.
Very good compromise.
While bound I was also wearing a
large ball gag. I was making some very interesting noises while torturing
myself and bathing in my own frustration. Now I think back to it, I found the
gag strangely liberating. I think if I’d been able to speak it would have to
some degree taken me out of the bondage torture experience, whereas being
denied speech, just as denied sight, kept me within my situation. I have had
hesitations about use of gags in some types of scene as they prohibit
communication about problems, but I now understand the flip-side of the story –
the feeling of the extra control adds a lot.
Don’t think I’ve ever had such a
head-trip, and I was exhausted afterwards. I realised afterwards, I wish Lord Saxon
had had my camera which can record movies – it would have been a great thing to
watch back and upload, not least because of the noises I was making while
self-torturing.
I still had my chastity device keys which I keep in a key
safe box secured with a 4 digit combination. Lord Saxon took this and changed
the combination. It made me feel so subby, watching him secure away my cock
keys for his own amusement of teasing me later. I crawled over to where he was
sitting and curled up around his leg.
Later on I met with Altariel and Lord Saxon. I’m under
orders for no sexual touching while locked (none is possible anyway) but Lord Saxon
explained to Altariel that I’d been pulling on my ball rope and I appeared to
be enjoying it, so that counted as ‘sexual touching’. They discussed my
punishment, but decided to be lenient (or perhaps reserve until later).
They gave me the digits combination to the key safe but in a
random order and said I was allowed to unlock and play but had (by then) 40
minutes left until midnight which is when I would be on ‘no touch’. Of the 24
possible combinations it was about 15 I had to try before I got it, then
swiftly unlocked and had a nice relaxing play for the first time in 3 days,
which could be the last for a while too. It was thinking about how controlled I
am and how I’m having to work to earn every orgasm that finally made me blow my
huge sticky load all over the place.
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