Review

I had a discussion tonight with Miss Sarina about how we felt things were going, as we'd been in contact for about a week. I said that it seems to be fulfilling my desire for submission in a fairly ideal way - she'd not been too pushy about anything but not been to easy either - just the right balance.

Early on, before she took control and ownership of the cock, she said she would prefer it if I did not cum without permission. Although that wasn't an order for me, I found it very compelling, and the shame of admitting I'd cum was a lot greater than the desire to cum. That was the start of feeling the desire for submission.

Then I gave her ownership of the cock and balls attached to my body, and I put a padlock through a piercing to mark the fact. I felt that was a strong symbolic gesture, both giving it up and having the padlock in place. Now whenever I feel an urge to touch it, I hold back because I know I'm not permitted and I don't want to let her down by disobeying her.

For the next few days I was not allowed to touch except a few times when I was told to play but when I got to the edge of orgasm, I should stop. That was quite frustrating, building up to the point of shooting but not following through. However, it felt right as a gesture of submission, and doing what I was told was more important than blowing my load, and the knowledge that I was being denied under orders made the cock I wasn't allowed to touch very hard and in need of being touched!

At about the point that I was wondering how long the denial would continue, she ordered me to cum after a lot of edging - a very large wet load! The orgasm itself wasn't that strong but I had quite a sense of relief and relaxation after it. But it didn't stop there, over the few days I was ordered to cum about 6 times. I realised Miss was doing 'feast and famine', at first denying my cum and then making me do it over and over. The first few cums were easy and a pleasure, but later it got more of a challenge - and then the same feeling came out, of needing to fulfill the order I'd been given. Either way, it was submission and it was a turn on for me. Even knowing that I could be ordered at any time to cum yet again got me horny.

Some of those cums were while I was at work - she would send me a message on my phone to cum within half an hour, and send her a picture of the cum. I had cum in work a few times in the past, but it was always a nervy experience. The idea of doing something so rude and kinky in such a mundane place has always got me hot, but in some way cumming there is not such a sexual experience but one of duty (at the least, it needs to be quick and not savoured) and such a 'naughty thrill'.

Some of those cums, I was required to eat the resultant sperm. I generally hate eating cum as it's a horrible taste and texture, but I do find it a very strong submissive act, so was 'pleased' that she ordered it. It was just as nasty as I expected, but it's a reminder that it's all about submission, and even knowing I was about to get a mouthful of cum got me horny and assisted with the shoot.

Some of those cums had to be ruined. I find it easy to ruin a cum - where I jerk off to the point of cumming but let go just as it's spurting out - lose quite a lot of the orgasm sensation. So it becomes less a sexual act and much more yet another act of submission - and once again, doing it under orders is quite horny for me.


For the last week Miss has been picking out the underwear I should wear for the day. I have lots of pictures of my underwear on my website - tight shorts, thongs, jogs and various strange things. It's been quite nice, being told each day which of them I should wear, then feeling the reminder all day. I've always been quite into 'clothing control' so like the idea of submitting in that way too, and it's nice regular interaction.