A privilege not a right

I’m now back on ‘no touch’ – it seems after a horny weekend I’ll usually be ordered ‘no touch’ for the Monday.

Feel like my cock’s been twitching all day. When I woke up this morning I’m sure it was harder than its usual hard self and demanding attention – so even more difficult than usual to ignore it, but I know my orders and know it’s just not allowed.  I think something about being kept locked and horny and frustrated since Thursday has increased my desire for it, and the fact that I was allowed to cum last night hasn’t taken much of an edge off it (though felt great at the time).

In work today my mind just kept flashing back at the most inappropriate moments to the horny ball torture I experienced yesterday, and my cock reacted in its usual way.

I think I’m coming to like the idea that orgasm is privilege not a right, and I should put aside thoughts of the days when I used to just cum whenever I felt like doing it, and instead focus on the frustration and sexual drive caused by the carefully rationed orgasm, and the people who know what’s best for me and decide when I should be allowed that pleasure.

I’ve been chatting to people about chastity and cum control/denial for years, but beginning now to understand how the pleasure of submission outweighs the pleasure of orgasm.

Of rope and straitjackets

I spent the weekend locked up and horny. I had to wear my steelheart chastity device to work on Friday then out drinking in the evening and to a cinema social on Saturday and through Sunday. I’ve worn it out to events before, but being locked so long at one stretch made it feel more like a standard part of me, which is a nice state to achieve.

I was instructed that on Sunday morning I should unlock cb to shower. It was initially disappointing not to have a ‘continuous lockup’ but on reflection it makes a lot of sense from a practical point of view. I was wearing a very enclosed device and I can try to clean it through in shower but there’s no alternative to a real unlocked cleaning of device and contents. I managed to achieve not even getting hard while showering, but about 2 minutes after I locked up again and thought about what was happening to me, I was filling the tube again.

I was due to meet Lord Saxon for a meal then play on Sunday. I received a message from Altariel with some instructions for me – for the first 15 minutes when he’s in my house, I’m not to make eye contact with him at all, just stare down at my feet. Then for the next 20 minutes I’m not to speak. If asked I can say (or use phone to type) it’s instruction from Altariel. He didn’t actually notice that I wasn’t making eye contact with him (which felt like a strange thing to do) and took him 10 minutes to notice I wasn’t speaking (he says he thought I was being subby). There’s something quite nice about not being allowed to speak, feels very submissive, especially as ordered from someone hundreds of miles away. When I informed him (by phone text) that I was obeying Altariel’s orders he swore and sent her a blunt message, but all in good humour.

Over several hours he got me into some hot rope ties, at which he is quite an expert. One was a hogtie, he was planning on putting a rope gag in my mouth and tying it back to either my feet or my hands, but unfortunately I don’t have quite the flexibility to curve my back and neck to make it happen. Feel like that would have been a hot arrangement – having to either tense my legs to take strain off my mouth or the other way around, no comfortable position.

Another hot scene was when I suggested using a straitjacket (which I love being put into). Mine has a lot of ‘spare’ D-rings for attachments, so thought it would blend well with rope play. He had me strapped up and blindfolded sitting on sofa (I was already drifting off into subspace) then roped up my thighs and ankles and tied them together and to a D-ring on my chest, leaving me very snug and secure.

He probably thought I looked too comfortable, because then then put a rope around my balls (available hanging out of the bottom of my chastity device) and tied them to my ankles. This was not tight unless I lifted up my legs – then I felt the sharp tug on my balls. That started quite pleasant but I found by pulling harder it turned to getting more painful, which I found an incredible turn-on (didn’t really expect that). My masochism kicked in and I kept tugging hard at my balls, all the time getting more painful and making me harder in my device. If I hadn’t been locked I think I would have cum with a light touch – so frustrating! Lord Saxon ordered me to continue torturing myself which spurned me on to tug my balls even harder and give myself more pain and frustration.

Quite interesting (something I’d not considered) that I was in control of my own pain experience in that situation. He doesn’t know me well (I don’t know me well either) so he wouldn’t have known how far to push me. In this way I could challenge and torture myself, and push my own limits with encouragement from his orders, but there would be no risk that he’d mis-read me and go too far, or been too soft on me. Very good compromise.

While bound I was also wearing a large ball gag. I was making some very interesting noises while torturing myself and bathing in my own frustration. Now I think back to it, I found the gag strangely liberating. I think if I’d been able to speak it would have to some degree taken me out of the bondage torture experience, whereas being denied speech, just as denied sight, kept me within my situation. I have had hesitations about use of gags in some types of scene as they prohibit communication about problems, but I now understand the flip-side of the story – the feeling of the extra control adds a lot.

Don’t think I’ve ever had such a head-trip, and I was exhausted afterwards. I realised afterwards, I wish Lord Saxon had had my camera which can record movies – it would have been a great thing to watch back and upload, not least because of the noises I was making while self-torturing.

I still had my chastity device keys which I keep in a key safe box secured with a 4 digit combination. Lord Saxon took this and changed the combination. It made me feel so subby, watching him secure away my cock keys for his own amusement of teasing me later. I crawled over to where he was sitting and curled up around his leg.

Later on I met with Altariel and Lord Saxon. I’m under orders for no sexual touching while locked (none is possible anyway) but Lord Saxon explained to Altariel that I’d been pulling on my ball rope and I appeared to be enjoying it, so that counted as ‘sexual touching’. They discussed my punishment, but decided to be lenient (or perhaps reserve until later).

They gave me the digits combination to the key safe but in a random order and said I was allowed to unlock and play but had (by then) 40 minutes left until midnight which is when I would be on ‘no touch’. Of the 24 possible combinations it was about 15 I had to try before I got it, then swiftly unlocked and had a nice relaxing play for the first time in 3 days, which could be the last for a while too. It was thinking about how controlled I am and how I’m having to work to earn every orgasm that finally made me blow my huge sticky load all over the place.

Weekend lockdown

Now I understand why Lord Saxon instructed me to play from 9:55pm...

I received a text at 9:30pm from Altariel, who is going away for a long weekend, and has decided that while she's away I should not play. So I was instructed to lock on cb at 10pm (just 5 minutes freedom!) and keep it locked until 10pm on Sunday, 3 days away.

3 days isn't much by the standard of 'serious' chastity players, but for me it's longer than I usually do (rarely go more than a weekend). But the significant part for me is that it's under orders, the only times I've been locked in chastity under orders before have been for about half a day.

I frequently underestimate the couple who are controlling me. I can see they've cunningly been working the sorts of orders they've given me through the week (particularly involving cumming quite often) working up to this point of lockdown, and of course keeping it a (very hot) surprise. I should learn to trust. I am not worthy.

So after a very rapid (not very fulfilling - rather failed Lord Saxon's instruction to "take your time playing and cumming") cum at 9:57pm I locked up, knowing my cock would be wrapped in steel for a lot longer than usual. This means I'll be locked tomorrow at work then during several social events over the weekend - a constant horny reminder of their power over me.

I will be playing with Lord Saxon over the weekend (getting into some nice rope bondage I hope) during which Altariel has instructed me to give him the keys to my cb. I suggested that, if it amuses her, he could lock the key into a combination key box before he leaves, then they could share the combination between them and give me access to my cock whenever it amuses them to do so - sometimes I wonder why I so enjoy making life hard for myself!

Pegging

I was not under any restriction on my activities for most of yesterday, which resulted in my cumming 4 times – dangerous business! So fortunately (which I was working on a 5th) I received word from Altariel that I was on ‘play but no cum’ up until 11:50pm, after that anything goes. I then was told from Lord Saxon that from midnight I was on ‘no cum’ til 8pm, after which I have 5 minutes of ‘anything’ before I have to lock on cb for the rest of the evening.

In addition, I was not allowed any underwear to work and during 4 occasions during the working day I have to attach a wooden clothes peg to my cock for 10 seconds then pull it off, and repeat that 5 times. I thanked them for the opportunity to experience that pain directed by them.

Originally the orders were more generous (10 minutes of ‘anything’ and no lockup and 5 seconds of peg on cock) but involved the clothes peg thing hourly, and I appealed for leniency (see previous post about problems of scheduled kink at work) so they rightly made the experience more severe

Getting ready for work I was reminded why I usually wear underwear. I thought the unbound cock bulge in my suit trousers looked obscene and something I would not usually take to the office. I could have apologetically declined that part of the order, but instead I decided to feel the fear and do it anyway. Realistically it’s almost impossible to think anyone would notice or comment on my trouser arrangement. However, pushing this boundary gives me a huge thrill! Yet one more way in which Altariel and Lord Saxon are bringing me new experiences and contributes to my deep submission to them.

Lying in bed this morning, hard and edging myself (allowed to play but not cum) I thought about what this experience was going to be like. In toilets pegging my cock is probably going to get me hard (not least the anticipation beforehand) and getting hard in suit trousers with no protective underwear could get me in a lot of trouble! Going to have to be very smart to think of dull things all day and supress my erotic instincts. It was difficult thinking about this and edging my cock and not let myself blow my load, but I managed it.

I decided when performing task in toilet to go on hands and knees and remove top, so naked above ankles. I found the peg was much more sensitive on balls than cock (have noticed this in other ways too) so was snapping the peg off the mid-seam of my balls and breathing through the stinging pain it produced. Then I had to try to force my erection down in order to go back to work! Often sitting at desk in work I thought about what was happening to me and started to get hard - had to keep control of that!

In all, the daytime task was fun, the peg not particularly painful (perhaps I’m doing it wrong), the ‘no underwear’ thing felt scary but didn’t cause any problems (that I’m aware of).

My order was to cum between 8pm and 8:05pm, so from about 7:30pm I ‘warmed myself up’ and got into a frenzy so I could shoot at about 8:02pm. After that I followed instruction to lock up.

Lord Saxon additionally instructed me to unlock at 9:55pm (very precise) then take my time playing and cumming, then relock until midnight.

Scratching

I said in the last blog post that I was on ‘no touch’ until midnight the next day (yesterday). Well before then Lord Saxon and Altariel invited me out for a drink to discuss how things are going and future instruction.

During our chat and particularly during discussion of future plans for me, they would whisper things to each other that I could not quite hear, and sometimes they would send text messages to each other then say, “Yes we should definitely make him do that” and such things.

They ended up deciding that tomorrow I should wear cycle shorts under my suit to work and that at 15 minutes past each hour I should go to scratch myself but actually rub my cock through my shorts. I have to keep that up hourly from 9:15am until at 8pm I can remove shorts and will then be free of restriction and allowed to cum (last time will then have been the afternoon 2 days ago).

I woke up knowing I was allowed to touch now, so stroked my cock in bed, got myself hard and to the edge. I could so easily have blown my load, but I knew I was under orders not to do it, so just quivered on the brink and stepped back. Quite a frustrating start to the day, but somehow the pleasure of obeying orders is greater than the pleasure or orgasm.

I’ve often worn tight shorts to work but don’t think I’ve ever worn ‘real’ cycle shorts. I considered wearing ‘cycle style’ tight shorts but when I thought about wearing real ones (while stroking my cock in bed) the idea got me hard, so I knew I really had no choice but to wear the sexiest ones. So I pulled my cycle shorts on (nice and tight) under my work suit. If I look at my knee I can see the elastic band of the bottom of the shorts showing through my suit trousers, which was the reason why I’ve not worn them before, but I’m going to take a ‘leap of faith’ and wear my kink even though it’s (slightly) visible to everyone at the office (I should be more brave more often). These shorts are also padded which feels interesting but don’t think it shows.

The morning went without incident. I was able to scratch my groin at my desk without too much trouble.  I came home for lunch (one of the scratches was scheduled for when I was walking, so was scratching my groin in the street). At lunchtime I exchanged a few messages with Lord Saxon and got myself hard and horny and frustrated. However my instruction was to message him and Altariel, and I foolishly forgot to keep her in the message loop. I failed that part of the task and may receive due punishment.

The afternoon was also quite unremarkable. At one point I was in discussion with a colleague and sneaked in a quick scratch when his back was turned! I did however miss the schedule for the 4:15 scratch and didn’t make it until 4:30, for which I may also receive punishment. All day I could see the leg bands of the shorts through my suit trousers, but of course no-one commented.

I have to keep the shorts on until 8pm, then my ‘no cum’ ban is lifted and I’m free to play for the first time since Sunday afternoon! That is, unless I’m told differently before then…

The task was quite a distraction in work, which was a good thing. It’s very nice to do something ‘different’ to make a dull day more interesting. The scratching was quite subtle but interesting enough, and spending the day in tight padded cycle shorts is always hot J

The task was quite a distraction in work, which was a bad thing. I started by using an appointment alarm (pop up on my screen) to remind me when 15 minutes past the hour happened, but then I got paranoid about someone seeing and asking about it, so I would watch the clock so I was around to cancel it when it appeared (kinda defeating the object). Then I deleted the reminder, but that lead to missing the 4:15 scratch. I think the exact scheduled activity was quite a bind/distraction from real work, and perhaps if it were ‘do something 3 times during the day’ or ‘do something during each hour’ it would be more manageable.

I now await feedback on my failures and see where this leads me…

UPDATE - I was free to cum at 8pm and came (quite messy) at about 8:20pm. Received text from Altariel at 9pm telling me that as punishment for not texting her I was on 'no touch' until midnight, which I said was a very generous punishment and thanked her.

Toilets and trains

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An ear?

One interesting (and very hot) thing about my current situation is that I can receive instruction for an order at any time. I'm not controlled 24/7, but I do feel like I'm on 24/7 'hot standby' to obey when required.

For instance, last night when I was out with friends I received a text from Altariel asking if I would like instruction, which of course I agreed to. She told me that I had to touch the ear of a mutual friend I was with, and also that when I get home I should lock on a cb with internal spikes. Hot!

An ear.... touch an ear... it's a really interesting order, not at all sexual but pushing me out of normal comfort zone and making me do something unusual. It's yet another example of my feeling of submission to Altariel that I didn't consider the possibility of ignoring or refusing it, I only planned how I could go about it. I would have to do it in a way that didn't seem out of the ordinary to the friend (it's not about involving him in the 'scene') which is not easy with an ear.

As it happened, shortly after I received the instruction the friend got up and left, so I didn't get a chance (would have needed to contrive a close chat with him at the very least).

I informed Altariel that I regretfully failed her task. She decided my punishment was that after I had locked on the cb with spikes I was to make myself hard by whatever means necessary until the spikes "really hurt". I complied and browsed some popular picture collections (mostly of people in chastity) until I started to get hard and feel the bite from the teeth to a sufficient degree to satisfy the order. Unfortunately, feeling that mild stabbing and knowing it's been required by Altariel is itself quite horny, so it just got me harder and before long it really "really hurt". I had to think fast about bland things to rescue myself.

Once I reported my experience back to Altariel she said I could now swap the spiked ring for a normal ring but I had to stay locked in cb until further notice. This of course meant overnight, which gave me that horny frustrating experience of waking up with a big cock in a small steel tube.

In the morning she texted specifying the time I could remove it, and I asked if I was then uncontrolled. She said that I was released from her control but that I should seek the advice of Lord Saxon, a mutual friend who has also expressed an interest in controlling me. I had to ask his permission for release from control, which fortunately he granted.

It seems I will now be reacting to orders from both of them - this could get interesting, but very exciting too :)

Plugged then locked

I was going to a social event at which Altariel was going to be present, so she instructed me to go buttplugged, which of course I did. This was not a kinky event so it was nicely ‘weird’ to have a lump of steel up my arse all night sitting around innocent people who had no idea what I was up to, and only Altariel nearby knowing what was going on.

Later on that evening she instructed me to lock on a chastity cage (I went for my large steelheart) and to stay locked overnight and only to unlock it 10 minutes before I had to leave for work in the morning, and that I had to cum in that time.

Not surprising, it was a horny night. I woke up with my usual morning erection except feeling it compressed inside a steel tube which I wasn’t allowed to remove, which made it all the harder.

Leading up to when I had to go to work I was chatting to people online and telling them about my predicament, keeping myself hard in tube. At exactly 10 minutes before the latest time I could leave, I unlocked and started to stroke my cock which was now about to stretch out for the first time that day. It felt great, as it always does coming out of confinement – so sensitive.

I felt the pressure of time constraint, which is always effective in driving my horniness. About 6 minutes later I was blowing my load, then a mad dash to clean up and pretend to be presentable before dashing off to work, hoping I hadn’t left any suspicious blobs on clothing…

Rope bondage

I went to a rope bondage workshop, which was quite fun.

At one point I was tied in a hogtie, lying face down on a mat with my hands tied behind me and tied to my feet, blindfolded and feeling nicely helpless.

Later on I was tied up to Altariel in a sort of hugging position which was really neat :)

I did watch others getting tied and tried to follow some of the knots and techniques but found it all rather baffling and I'd have no chance trying to recreate it.

In all, a hot and horny time.

I was wearing a little lycra bodysuit (flexible for rope work) but when we went to leave and I put my trousers back on, Altariel instructed me that I did not need them. So I sat in the back of the car on the way home and then walked into the house with just a coat on and hardly any sign of anything worn under it :)

Public toilet self-task

Altariel has decided that she doesn’t want to keep 24/7 control of me and has allowed me to do my own thing.

I had the day off work and was planning to go out shopping. I thought it would be fun to order myself to do the sort of task that Altariel might have ordered me to do, and I decided that would be cumming in a public toilet cubicle while out.

I was chatting to people online about this and collecting suggestions for how it could be made more interesting. That might have been a mistake, as it quickly grew into quite a scene. But I followed through with most of the suggestions.

I locked on my cb (small steelheart) and went out (medium short shorts and teeshirt, which was surprisingly pleasant considering it’s not great weather) with a buttplug up me. I got to the toilets (large bank of cubicles in shopping centre, almost all empty) and went into one. I then set up a camera to video my experience and stripped off all my clothes. I showed the cb and buttplug to the camera. Then I got down on my knees and put in a ball gag. I unlocked then cb then put on a blindfold.

I was listening to the people walking in and out of the toilets while I was working my cock on my knees, gagged and blinded and still feeling the plug in me. My cock reacted well to the situation, rose to the occasion and in a few minutes I felt the cum spluttering out of my cock. I lifted the blindfold to see a puddle on the floor beneath me.

I showed it to the camera then tidied up, cleared the mess, removed the plug and put my clothes back on. It seemed ‘almost too easy’, I’m sure no-one around had any idea how kinky I’d been. It was a fairly hot experience. I had brought shorter shorts and sleeveless teeshirt, after considering the weather and situation I stuck with longer shorts but changed teeshirt.

When I got home I realised the camera angle was wrong, so not much use. I was keen to get my head in the shot but in doing so the cam missed all the cock action. I may salvage some bits from it and try to upload them to xtube.

Restaurant toilet task

Yesterday evening I went out to a restaurant and then to watch a film with some friends.

Altariel was aware of this and sent me a text message ordering that I should wear a buttplug to the restaurant then at the end of the meal I should go to the toilet and try to cum. She originally said I should stay there trying to cum for 15 minutes, and if I failed I should put on a cockring for the rest of the evening.

When I read this it was quite scary but quite horny too. I’d never worn a plug out to a meal like that, and never cum in a restaurant toilet (have done in public toilets) and was quite concerned about being away from friends in toilet for so long, they’d naturally assume I was unwell.

I told her that 15 minutes was a long time for someone to be in the toilet and she said that 10 minutes would be the shortest time she would accept.

I was concerned about various aspects and thought it would be quite likely that I’d fail this task, but I knew I would have to do my best and not disappoint Altariel. This was by far the most challenging task she’d set me so far, and the most interactive with others. And yet the scariness and difficulty and awkwardness of it made it all the more horny to attempt. I feel myself becoming more submissive to her will as I accept increasingly difficult tasks without question.

I plugged up then went to the restaurant. I find plugging can be quite a hit-and-miss arrangement, sometimes my bowels ‘reject’ it within 20 minutes of putting it in, but fortunately this time it was okay.

My friends probably found me quite distracted during the meal. I was fairly nervous about what I knew I had to do, and by way of reminder was constantly feeling the steel buttplug I had lodged deep inside me. Probably if I’d just decided to do this for myself I would then have chickened out, but I knew that it was no longer up to me. At an appropriate moment after we had finished eating and before we had to leave for cinema, I took a deep nervous breath and walked off to the toilets, almost falling over on the way.

Fortunately it was a well enclosed toilet cubicle. I dropped my trousers and pulled out some lube I’d bought with me and started tugging on the cock attached to my body (I don’t consider it my property any more). I was last permitted touched it sexually about 40 hours earlier. It quickly got hard and felt great to touch. I was quite stressed due to the importance of cumming in reasonable time, and somehow that and the erotic nature of what I was doing and my submission to Altariel’s will and her control over me all fed together to cause the cock in my hand to be very responsive to touch and in less than a minute it was shooting cum into a tissue as I had a fairly strong orgasm in a restaurant toilet.

I took an exhausted breath at the end of my stress and nervousness and a task completed then took out the buttplug (it usually needs to come out after a meal) put on the cockring and tried to tidy up the lube. I dashed back to friends who didn't comment on my departure – think I was away from the table for 5 minutes.

While sitting in the cinema later if anyone had nudged against my trouser pocket they would have felt the hard steel of a well wrapped buttplug! Fortunately no-one found that or the pocket full of lube.

Later on when checking the order given to me I realised that I should have put on the cockring only if I failed, whereas I misread that and put on the cockring because I succeeded. So I failed that part of my orders and it will be up to Altariel to select a suitable punishment if she so chooses.

It was a scary, nervy experience (not always pleasant), but also a very horny one in the anticipation as well as the execution. I wasn't so polite when I received the order, but now I'm very grateful to Altariel for demanding that I do this task.

Brief relief

This morning I suffered with my usual frustration - waking up in bed with a hard cock taunting me, but not allowed to touch it. This time always makes me think of Altariel who has taken control and has decided that is is best that I do not touch it, and of course she's right.

Then I received a text message telling me I was allowed to cum! I lept back into bed, put a blindfold on, grabbed the hard cock which I was now permitted to touch and it felt great! While stroking it I thought about how much better it felt being occasionally allowed this pleasure, rather than my previous state of just jerking off whenever I felt like it. Before long I made a sticky mess.

I experienced what guys often do (not sure if girls have the same) that in my post-orgasmic lull I wondered why I was letting myself be controlled and wouldn't life be easier without it. It's that sort of think which means letting guys cum too often is not such a good thing, they're more obediently focused when denied.

However, it didn't take long for my resolve to obey to return, getting back to 'no touch' and feeling horny as a result.

Other events at the club

Altariel instructed me to post about more things that happened at the club we were at last Friday.

She put me into a vertical cage which had a box for my head. Once in it, I was blinded by the box but could still put my arms out through the cage bars. I was able to touch her, which was a very different experience when not being able to see her too. I couldn’t gain any reaction from her except for subtle movements of her body.

At one time she told me to sit on the floor beside her chair. Another time she had me on all fours in front of her chair where she used me as a footstool. They were both nice submissive positions and it was good to please her with them.

Under control

Today I had been wearing a cockring as instructed by my underwear selection webpage, but I had foolishly not asked Altariel's permission to put it on so she decided as punishment I should write her a message explaining what the week so far under her control had been like. This is the message I wrote to her:

You asked me to tell you what this is like for me. This week so far has been quite tough but very rewarding. I hadn’t anticipated the degree to which I would want to obey your instruction as best I could (not always very well).

I’m normally quite a sexual person but I’ve never felt as sexually charged all the time as I have under your control. The cock attached to my body is regularly throbbing for attention even at the most inconvenient times, but I know that I don’t have permission to touch it and I will honour that even though it takes a lot of willpower. I realise it’s not even about orgasm. I feel a sexual thrill by your instruction whether I’ve cum recently or a while ago.

In work this afternoon I couldn’t get my mind off the thought of you biting me, which got me regularly aroused and distracted.

All your tasks have challenged aspects of me. Every one of them has got me hard and horny which has made the periods of ‘no touch’ all the more difficult. Going out to the public toilet last night in cycle shorts was quite scary, I’d never been told to do that before and had always avoided interacting with people, so going into a shop took some nerve.

Waking up in the mornings is the worst part, because then your cock is always ready for attention and is used to getting it. It’s at that time that I feel most submissive, resisting my base instincts because I know it would disappoint you if I caved in. Then I think of you and that my frustration is your desire and my place is to give you pleasure.

I’ve developed a Pavlovian reaction now, each time I hear my phone buzz with a new message I get a little hard in the anticipation of a text from you. I know it could be granting me a treat or imposing some new restriction or torture, but I get aroused by either.

In short, this week so far has been tough and been challenging to my willpower and obedience and kept me more frustrated than I’ve been in a long time, but I wouldn’t change any of it, Mistress.

She also send me text messages while I was at a talk in the evening, asking to tell her how frustrated I had been. I had to reply explaining my horny situation while surrounded by people listening to the talk.

My ball weight task

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My clothes peg task

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My public toilet task

I woke up this morning hard and horny but knowing I was not allowed to touch it (my play partner Altariel decided I should not), which made it harder and got more frustrating. But giving in to the frustration and the joy of submission is hot in itself.

In the afternoon Altariel instructed me to put on my Carrara chastity belt, then in the evening send me this task: "I want you to take off your chastity belt and put in your largest butt plug. Then wear bicycle shorts to your local shop and get change for a public toilet. Then cum in the toilet."

I wore my 'rattler' steel buttplug which has a ball inside which knocks as you walk. I've not worn it for long before but thought this would be a good opportunity. It's quite big and I felt it the whole time, although the knocking wasn't very noticable.

I was very self-concious (which I find a turn-on) as I stepped out of the door in cycle shorts and a waist-length teeshirt. I bought a kit-kat in a shop (I took other change with me but thought the awkwardness of going into a shop wearing this was a good part of the scene). I had money in a bag pushed down my shorts which I had to retrieve, then put the kitkat down there too.

The toilets take 20p, it was very wet inside as it auto-cleans itself. I thought it would be apporpriate to strip down as much as possible so I removed shorts and teeshirt but kept sandals on. I took some lube so was soon sitting on the toilet feeling the plug and thinking about being out naked with few clothes available, about to cum in public, being controlled by someone who was going to make me do lots of these things for the chance to cum. The situation and past frustration and being locked all afternoon all worked together to make me blow my load in a few minutes - I had a large handful of sticky white stuff. Sometimes it takes me ages to cum, but others, particuarly when against the clock, can be quite quick. I washed up in the auto-sink there, and also used it to blow-dry my cock.

I put my clothes on (could well be some damp stains on shorts) and left. On the way back (plug still in) I felt a definite sense of being more relaxed, which was perhaps due to a task completed but may well have been release of sexual frustration.

A very creative and hot scene!

Clubbing and beyond

Last Friday I went to the monthly fetish club I go to, but this time with a play partner called Altariel.

She put me into several of the pieces of equipment in the club. One was a pillory - a horizontal bar trapping my head and hands, and posts to trap my feet, spreading my legs wide apart - very vulnerable position. While there she challenged me to stay exactly still for the time she specified, and (very lightly) spanked my ass with a paddle if I moved.

Another time she put me into a cage which another woman lay on top of. Altariel then proceeded to flog her while I watched, trapped underneath her.

At other times Altariel scratched and bit me. I didn't think I was into that, and I don't like pain things like that, but for some strange reason I really don't understand, I found it a real turn-on to be scratched and bitten by her. I found myself asking for more, even though a week earlier I'd have told you I'd definitely be asking for less. I guess it shows that you shouldn't think you're not into something. But then, I've been scratched and bitten before and not liked it - think it's all about context.

I was in my steelheart cock cage during the club for which she kindly looked after then keys and told me when I could unlock it the next day (which was inside my dog cage) but after I had cum we agreed that for the rest of the week I would be given task to earn the right to cum, and that I was not to touch my cock without permission from her.

I have no idea what to expect but think it's going to be hot finding out!

Plugged again

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Pride and stuff

I was at Reading Pride yesterday, which is a great opportunity to wear 'odd' stuff.

So I wore a long vest top. I had a tight pink little pair of shorts under (actually short girls cycle shorts with padding) but the top was long enough to just about hide the shorts. Got a few interesting comments from friends :)

I spoke to some strangers there, only because they had the same style of unusual backpack as I had. As I walked away from them I overheard one saying "What a nice man!" :)

Then today I went out (dropping bottles off at glass recycling) wearing bib cycle shorts and vest top, and under that a C String (see http://www.cstringthong.com/) and under that my small steelheart and steel buttplug. I recorded a video of removing the clothes when I got home, but kept the cb and plug on/in a few hours more.