Under control

Today I had been wearing a cockring as instructed by my underwear selection webpage, but I had foolishly not asked Altariel's permission to put it on so she decided as punishment I should write her a message explaining what the week so far under her control had been like. This is the message I wrote to her:

You asked me to tell you what this is like for me. This week so far has been quite tough but very rewarding. I hadn’t anticipated the degree to which I would want to obey your instruction as best I could (not always very well).

I’m normally quite a sexual person but I’ve never felt as sexually charged all the time as I have under your control. The cock attached to my body is regularly throbbing for attention even at the most inconvenient times, but I know that I don’t have permission to touch it and I will honour that even though it takes a lot of willpower. I realise it’s not even about orgasm. I feel a sexual thrill by your instruction whether I’ve cum recently or a while ago.

In work this afternoon I couldn’t get my mind off the thought of you biting me, which got me regularly aroused and distracted.

All your tasks have challenged aspects of me. Every one of them has got me hard and horny which has made the periods of ‘no touch’ all the more difficult. Going out to the public toilet last night in cycle shorts was quite scary, I’d never been told to do that before and had always avoided interacting with people, so going into a shop took some nerve.

Waking up in the mornings is the worst part, because then your cock is always ready for attention and is used to getting it. It’s at that time that I feel most submissive, resisting my base instincts because I know it would disappoint you if I caved in. Then I think of you and that my frustration is your desire and my place is to give you pleasure.

I’ve developed a Pavlovian reaction now, each time I hear my phone buzz with a new message I get a little hard in the anticipation of a text from you. I know it could be granting me a treat or imposing some new restriction or torture, but I get aroused by either.

In short, this week so far has been tough and been challenging to my willpower and obedience and kept me more frustrated than I’ve been in a long time, but I wouldn’t change any of it, Mistress.

She also send me text messages while I was at a talk in the evening, asking to tell her how frustrated I had been. I had to reply explaining my horny situation while surrounded by people listening to the talk.